I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm not who I was. The funny thing about staying close to the people you grew up with...close in proximity that is...is that they never allow you to change. This, of course, is my opinion. I believe this for any stage in the game. Childhood friends don't really count...your true personality shows without being tainted by experience when you are a kid..but high school friends, college friends, first job friends. It's like that whole time period when you are trying to discover who you are is who you will always be to them. I was crazy in high school and college. More so if I was single and luckily, I was a serial monogamer. I'm pretty certain my high school friends wouldn't even know what to do if they saw me now or if I actually showed up to our 10 year reunion this year (so not gonna happen). I was opinionated, loud, outspoken, and strong willed. Let's just say...I've toned down a bit ;)
We decided about a month ago that it was time to take a trip back in time...to when it was just the two of us. For several reasons....one, we had barely been alone for more than a couple of hours at a time since Corbin was born and two, we had always promised we would do this once a year and it was time to cash in.....so I booked a mini-vacation for this past weekend in a small 2 person log cabin (built by hand..might I add) in Boone. It was awesome ... minus the lovely carpet that looked like the pot holders I made in Brownies when I was...let's say 8... www.blueridgerentals.com .... called the Dog House because apparently their dog, Rubberdog, was run over by a car and didn't have a scratch on him. Yeah.. Rocky would have definitely been called..Splatterdog! Anyway...very cozy, hot tub, and these awesome adirondack chairs with a fire pit right along side the stream running behind the house. I highly recommend it ... especially if you need a little breathing room from a child that has only learned one pitch in the range of sounds his voice can make.... oh, wait...that's me...ok, check!
So Grandma and Grandpa drove up from Georgia to stay the weekend with our little terror..I mean sweetheart ;) They arrived around 11am on Friday morning and we had hightailed it outta there by noon...ha ha! And you thought I was going to say I had a hard time leaving. Nope. A quick run through of the Corbin Instruction Manual and..... Peace out, Corbs! We got to the cabin around 3pm after stopping for lunch, grabbing the keys, and going to the grocery store for extra munchies (possibly called Cabernet) ...that first bottle of wine was consumed by 5:20pm :) Guess we haven't lost our touch....so we pretty much just spent some much overdue time together the entire weekend. Except for an emergency trip to Old Navy due to the fact that we forgot bathing suits..which wouldn't have been a problem in the summer, but having the trees bare...we thought the neighbors might appreciate it ;) ...and a little shopping downtown, but other than that..it was just us. I hadn't realized how much I missed just us...it was so nice. No schedule, no whining, or entertaining.....no snaps at each other about not moving fast enough or being too snappy (ha ha).... no internet, Facebook, or blogs...no TV, DVR, or movies...no worries, just us.
It's funny how you find the strength in your relationship that way...like we hadn't seen each other for years (caught up in the daily madness that consumes every minute until you fall on the couch hungry and tired at 8pm bedtime), but were just the same after all that time...you throw a colicky, sensitive baby into the mix and you don't even have time to realize you miss who you were.Of course, by Saturday night around 6pm, we were both really missing Corbin. The piece that makes us who we are now. Sometimes he may throw a kink in our perfect little package... needing a small reminder to get us back on track..but we aren't "us" without him anymore. We've changed...for better, for worse...a little older, a little wiser....we've grown. Our relationship has a whole new depth. It brings the good and the bad...the little spaces you never knew about the person you hold most dear. Without Corbin, I would never have known how insanely, irrationally clean the kitchen needs to be at all times for my husband...it drives me nuts. Without Corbin, Richard would have never known that I need him to move at the speed of light to make milk, change a diaper, or even shower, for that matter..I like to refer to it as "mommy speed"..something a daddy can never do ;) But without Corbin, I would have never heard Richard sing "You are my sunshine" to help him fall asleep...never witnessed the best made-up game ever...brought to you by daddy (finding the "love buggie" in the book and then tickling him when he does). He may have never seen the way only a mommy can kiss that boo boo all better...if it wasn't for Corbin. It's true that we would be the same people to each other...love each other just as much...be just as perfect for one another...if Corbin had never come along. But we wouldn't be "us"...who we are meant to be together. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I found who I was through Richard..I am a better person with him than I was without him. I never lost myself, but just became someone I respect more than I did before. I've changed...those people from high school or college wouldn't recognize me because they know "BR" Alissa (Before Richard)...the same goes for us. "BC" Brays. We still are the same family...only better...thanks to Corbin.