I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass. ~Maya Angelou
Its no secret that women are not nice to other women. It's crazy...we are supposed to unite, band together, be one with each other, blah, blah, blah dee freakin' blah! It doesn't work that way...it must be in our nature to be manipulative, nasty, and down right mean at times. Guys just kick the sh*t out of each other and then shake hands. I'm not sure which one is more bizarre. This fact never really registered with me...it rubbed me the wrong way from time to time, but never really registered until I became a stay-at-home mom. I guess I had more to focus on when I was working and life was all about me, but I'm not gonna lie...it's lonely down here. I had this naive vision of play dates and Gymboree....lovely story time at the local library...before Mr. Corbin took over my world and social life..but reality, schedules, and interfering nap times set in REAL fast once he showed up. So here I sit..typing away..just waiting for a little peep coming from the room next door...
I can remember two weeks after Corbin was born..yes, in the middle of January...taking him for a walk around the block. My neighbor actually stopped her car and asked what the hell I was doing..I HAD TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE..AHHHHHH! My obvious response..because two weeks doesn't sound that long until you are stuck in the house with a screaming baby, barely able to walk up or down the stairs, and have seen enough Dr. Phil to start charging by the hour anytime the phone rang. Yes, that short-lived walk was just the beginning. Not long after my "bad mother" walk of shame back home....I spotted another mother in our neighborhood as I drove home from the grocery store. It was like a dog salivating at his food dish after being denied sustenance for 3 days. I pretended to check the mail at least 3 times hoping she would walk down our street...no go! It sounds so pathetic, but I'm a pretty social person and it was killing me. When Corbin was about 3 months old, I started meeting other mothers through http://www.charlottemommies.com/ and eventually we organized a "Hump Day" play date. Every Wednesday morning, my new 4 friends came over and we would discuss every new milestone, new challenge, and the next thing our husbands had done to piss us off :) 4 boys and a girl all around the same age. It was exactly what I needed and we still meet weekly now. It's so nice to know that someone else is on the same page as I am...going through the same ups and downs as I am. Someone who understands the depth of love you can have for your child and still have those days where you wonder where the hell you went wrong in life ;) Those women have made a WORLD of difference in my experience as a mother and of course, my sanity. We have become so close and have the occasional mommy's night out...going out for drinks or even to a funny show (thanks to Jenn)! I can't stress this enough..you can't be a mother without the support of other mothers.
This leads us to my new discovery! Once you are married, have kids, and are in the swing of this new life....getting picked up brings on a whole new meaning. SO....I was in Lowes foods one morning with my mom participating in their triples (surprise, surprise)! We were in the baked goods aisle as I instructed my mother on how many of Martha White's muffin mixes and Warm Delights to buy, when this woman was coming down the aisle and asked my mom, politely, to let her through. As she came up, she stopped next to us to let her daughter and Corbin "talk" to each other. We struck up a conversation and it turned out that Lila Kate and Corbin had something in common...they were both allergic to milk! As we continued through the grocery store, we kept running into Mille and Lila Kate...we discussed how they had just moved here from New Orleans, our pediatricians, and immunizations....in the end, I gave Mille my email address (I didn't want to seem to easy by giving her my number)...and we went our separate ways, promising to talk again soon. I was totally picked up in the grocery store..it was great!! This meeting new mommies thing had become a breeze..I had it down pat! Watch out or you might be next....I told my Hump Day mommies about it and they, of course, made jokes and all was right in the world. Well, it's been a week and a half and no email! I've been rejected by my first pick up at the grocery store by another mommy..WTF. Oh well, maybe she was intimidated by this rocking mommy ;)
It's hilarious how this exclusive mommy club changes your life. How the one thing I figured would remain constant in my life has been the first to go. I know its not easy for my childless friends to get all excited about how he crinkles his nose when he's super excited or how I finally figured out how to get him on a good, 2 nap, schedule. I get that. I also get that you probably don't think that Pinky Dinky Doo is as funny as I do...hello, Mr. Guinea Pig was rockin' out to an electric guitar..that's funny ;) And to be completely honest, its unfair for me to expect for you to understand. It's almost as if you give up your good friends for a short time until they have kids because it just seems impossible to stay the same. Nothing stays the same. I recently met that mommy I was pretty much stalking way back when. It turns out that her son is 2 weeks older than Corbin and they played together in the front yard. It was too sweet. Hopefully someday, I can just open the door as Corbin runs out to go play at Cameron's house...or "Mom, Can Cameron stay for dinner?" :) You have to surround yourself with women who understand you. Whether that is at work, at school, or in your local grocery store. You can have differences in opinion, you can disagree on life choices, but the truth is no man will ever get what its like to be us...so come on...support the girls!