Monday, April 6, 2009

Not your average Joe....


I always said that I would never be an accountant. I have a Master's in it...After I got there, I swore I would never marry an accountant. Ummm, we are both CPAs...I said I could never stay home with my child because I couldn't see myself changing diapers all day...enough said ;) Never say never..ha ha! I will NEVER win a million dollars....yeah, I'm still waiting! 

My lil' man is seriously pure genius...advanced...like ten miles ahead of the rest...ok, really he's just average, but I'm still amazed at EVERYTHING he does. We recently installed a DVD player in the car. I was majorly against this. On top of the fact that he really watches enough Wow, Wow, Wubzi, Yo Gabba Gabba, and Blue's Clues at home..I didn't want him to freak any time he was in a car and couldn't watch the latest video. Until he just started freaking in the car....no matter what. Hence the DVD player. I swear its magical! The silence and sweet smiles and giggles I see in the rear view mirror as he watches his video happily strapped in. It's a beautiful thing. When we got it in the mail, Richard was trying to see if it worked and threw in a Baby Einstein Signs DVD. We used the DVD when Corbin started throwing tantrums around 11 months and once he realized he could communicate with me...in some sense...he calmed down..a little ;) Anyway, he used to watch the video once a morning while he ate breakfast and recognized it right away. Rich forgot to take it out of the player when he put it in the car, so I just figured any video would do. So sweet Corbin smiled at Marlee Matlin for at least 15 minutes every time we got in the car. He seriously wore those first 15 minutes out because most of the places we go aren't that far from home. But on occasion, he got to witness "repeat play" like on the way to Miss Holly's house :) 

So one day on the way home from my mom's house...who lives like 5 minutes away...he's watching those first lovable 15 minutes..and I peer into the backseat to witness my lil' guy rocking his arms (the sign) and all of a sudden, he spouts out "baby"! OMG...he had the biggest grin on his face as I went crazy! YAY!! He then continued on with the video and did the signs along with the words for mommy, daddy, baby, more, please, and thank you (no words..just sign)! WTF!! I was soooo impressed. My little man is sooo grown up. The only sign he really uses correctly is please (if you tell him no, he says "eeeeee" as he rubs his chest and one day when he couldn't get something out of the cabinet, he did the same thing..no clue who he was asking..ha ha), but still...I'm not even that polite at 27 let alone 14 months! I thought giggling was the best milestone, but these first words are definitely right up there :)

So here's the funny thing...we blame everything on BabyPlus ;) ( www.babyplus.com ) Oh yes..my mom bought me this system when I first found out I was pregnant. I keep telling myself that's why I used it..because I didn't want all that money to go to waste, but if I stop lying to myself for about 5 seconds to avoid accepting the psychoticness that is Alissa Bray..I would realize that even if she didn't buy it..I would have been one of those mom's that squeezed headphones round that large lump and played classical music to my unborn child.... just because. ;) Anyway, so twice a day starting at 18 weeks..I strapped that annoying thing around my stomach. Once while I was getting ready for work and once while we watched tv at night. Thuuuuuump, thuuuuuuump, thuuuuuuump is how it started off and eventually was thump, thump, thump...in psycho hyper speed. So annoying and it made my belly itch, but religiously...thump, thump, thump. I'm SHOCKED that Corbin doesn't bang his head against any non-moving object he can get his hands on! ;) But the website says your baby will calm easy, cry less, and reach milestones sooner. Let's see...cry less, calm easier...I'm going to go with no. How about you? :) Trust me..I ran over this thing in my mind NUMEROUS times...and then backed back over it ;)

But milestones sooner? Sh*t, I can practically have a conversation on the downfall of the economy with my 14 month old..ha ha. In all seriousness, he did hit gross milestones (except walking) pretty quickly. He rolled from belly to back at ONE MONTH...twice...made me a liar..then finally got the hang of it a few months later. But his fine motor skills came a little slower. I swear he didn't wave or clap until after 10 months and I already had my conversation mapped out for the doc at 12 months because he couldn't feed himself. He eventually figured it all out. And I'm sure that his words are the product of WAY too much tv..ha ha..or the fact that everything he picks up is "pencil", "spoon", "ball". When he can finally talk, his first sentence will be "Mom, SHUT THE HELL UP!" I won't blame him, but will still probably put him in time out....and laugh for the entire 90 seconds (since this will most definitely occur in the next 6 months, thanks to Baby Plus...ha ha). The great thing about kids is that they all end up in the same spot. One may mouth off way sooner than the next, but in the end..they all do it! I laugh sometimes because I catch myself feeling competitive. Well, John is doing that..why isn't Corbin?? The first rule of motherhood is .... DON'T COMPARE! It's so hard, but makes your life so much easier. Every kid finds their way at their own pace, but the real problem lies in watching it. Being the first time for me, as well as Corbin, means I'm hitting milestones as well...they just aren't advertised (or applauded, damn it). How am I supposed to know the difference between advanced, average, and delayed? First off, there is no such thing as advanced! (My mother, for sure, will tell you different about her 3 grandsons...even if all they do is pick their nose!) Secondly....every mother is a first time mom at some point. It sucks...uncharted territory causes more stress than its worth...and your big milestone will be accepting your ignorance. Although, it encompasses everything I said I would "never" do.....You will have NO idea what to do. Just go with it. You can call the doc's office 30 times a day...you are allowed. Give your kid Tylenol anytime he makes the slightest noise because you swear he's teething at 4 months. I'm sure it helps something.  And you can be astounded by your son's first real word. And his second...and his third. Talking about your child nonstop to people who don't have kids is forgiven (by other moms..ha ha..probably not the non-kid people..but who cares). And best of all....you can think your kid is advanced...even if he's just average :)

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