Sunday, September 21, 2008

Catching my breath


A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying...'Damn, that was fun!


They say "A baby changes everything" and I say "Ya freakin' think?!?!?" I guess thinking back on it, you really only acknowledge the changes "they" point out (in the commercial). A mental picture of giving baby a bath while he coos or getting up in the middle of the night to nurse and cuddle him. Then you have veteran mothers tell you to catch up on your sleep before you have him or make sure you and your husband do everything you want to before you decide to have children (you don't realize they mean going out to dinner..not taking a trip to the vineyards in France)...like there's no life after baby. I currently lie somewhere in between. I remember being that naive 26 year old that knew she was meant to have a baby, lying in a bathtub in the hospital listening to her iPod (so Gen Y!), and a song came on that Corbin used to always kick to...."It's your song, Bubby"...and all of a sudden I realized he wasn't there anymore. Fast forward a couple of days..literally...waking up to a crying, hungry baby...and fast forward a few more months....splashing in a tub full of water with my giggling baby boy. Those veteran mothers...and the Johnson & Johnson people...don't lie, but then there are those tiny cracks that baby creeps into that slowly crack apart your old self...the changes that catch you off guard when you least expect it.

One of my very best friends is getting married in a few weeks (YAY!)..and as her last hoorah...she decided she wanted to celebrate in MIAMI..wahoo! I have to admit it was a pretty good choice..lying out on the beach and dancing it up like the good ol' days. Although, I would do anything for her and couldn't wait to dust off those bootylicious clothes in the closet, I was slightly apprehensive about leaving Corbin overnight for the first time. Plus, Richard hadn't been alone with Corbin for more than a couple of hours. Now, I realize it was only for two nights and that everyone would live, but he had become like an appendage. Seriously, if you forgot to pack your right arm, would you be able to survive? Probably so...but it might be rather difficult to function. I mean..how would you put on your pants??? Anyway, this is how I felt. On one hand, a weekend away at the beach with the girls sounded AWESOME and on the other...no pants for 3 days (that sounds dirty..oops..but also very Miami..ha ha). As the days approached, I became increasingly nervous about it. At the same time, things started happening. The Thursday before, Corbin got his first real cold..snotty nose..night wakings..etc. = no fun and insane clingyness (is that a word?) It sucked. He decided naps were for babies and even decided that one, one hour, nap was sufficient one day. Ummm for future reference, it's not. On Tuesday, I got into a big fight with my family and on Wednesday had an altercation with my now ex-boss. I was quitting and she didn't like that idea, but it just added to the weeks events. By Friday (the day I left), I was so OVER the whole no right arm thing, that I would have flown that damn plane myself. And to top it all off..as I went to leave, we discovered small, nasty, creepy, crawly bugs that are now the cause of an exterminator bill. EWWWWWW! So bye, bye Hubby..bye, bye bugs..and bye, bye baby!

I flew down there and met up with my 5 partners in crime (another arrived that afternoon)RIGHT as they were getting to baggage claim..it was perfect. We got to the hotel, grabbed some lunch, and headed to the beach. It was BEAUTIFUL! So relaxing and I had completely forgotten that there was even a baby whining somewhere in this world. I could only remember that cute giggly face in the bathtub. We went out that night and my old self started to come through. They dressed me in one of the sluttiest dresses I think I've ever worn, but let me tell you..for having an 8 month old..that ass was looking nice ;) It kind of felt like I was playing a part in someone else's life. I remember going out in college and dancing on bars, not caring who was there..just having fun with my girls. But it just didn't feel the same. Don't get me wrong..it was a blast..but it felt like something I had done in another life..if that makes sense. Like riding a bike...you can always do it again, but it could never be like it was when you and your childhood best friend went on adventures when you were twelve. Needless to say, I ran out of steam somewhere around 2am and PASSED OUT...my usual bedtime is on the couch somewhere around the time Grey's Anatomy starts (thank GOD for DVR). The next day we shopped, laid out on the beach, went to a fantastic dinner, and out to a club again. AND we totally saw Brooke Hogan..she cheesed it up for us...you know she loves that sh*t! In the end, it turned out to be exactly what I needed. A nice break to catch my breath from the chaos of everyday life with a baby. The break you don't even realize you need when you are caught in the middle of that daily rush to get a bottle made, get him to go down for a nap, to rush off to your weekly playdate. It also gave Richard a chance to really develop a bond with Corbin. The other day he came home from work and we were playing in the bonus room upstairs. I said "Daddy's home! Where's daddy?" Corbin immediately started looking around with this desperate look on his face. Richard slowly crawled up the stairs and through the doorway on his hands and knees. When Corbin saw him, he threw down his toy, fell on his belly, and crawled straight to him with his arms out wide and a huge smile on his face. It might have been the sweetest thing I've ever seen!

Everything changes, including your friends..sometimes. I feel so lucky to still have a person I can call up and meet in Miami to remind me of who I really am. Who I was before Corbin. It was so nice to be able to be her again. My mommy friends and I are constantly saying how hard it is to relate to our friends who haven't quite reached this stage of life yet. That after burying our heads in the throws of taking care of a child for so many months, we don't have anything to add to the conversation about the latest fashions and celebrity gossip. My perspective on all these things has changed. My appreciation for the small things in life has grown, but after this weekend, I have found that being who you are and always will be is just as important as nuturing that mother instinct. I deserved this break and am so glad that I had the opportunity to take it. I am a better mother because of it and hopefully a better freind. Here's to you R Vo and of course, Macky too! :)

1 comment:

Ed and Melissa said...

Looks like you had a well deserved time with the girls! Looking forward to seeing you and Richard this weekend!!